Just breathe. Patience is not my friend.

Just breathe. Patience is not my friend.

Having my kid with SPD is like having one of those wonderful women from SNL (Saturday Night Live) constantly around. Lulu reminds me of Amy Poehler, Maya Rudolph and Kristin Wiig. Lulu also does a great Molly Shannon. Lulu is endlessly entertaining, brilliant and annoying. Much like me. (I wish.) Her tantrums include her greatest hits, “Mama, I want a new family.” “Mama, I want a nicer family.” My personal favorite, “Mommy, I want a new Mommy.” People ask me where she learns this stuff as they stare and judge me.  You can judge me after you have personally endured one of Lulu’s tantrums. The entire staff at her pre-school qualifies. These poor people have been punched, insulted, screamed at for hours, and  puked, peed and pooped on.

Friends and her OT (Occupational Therapist) ask me how I deal with her. I generally lose it with her at least once a day. She pushes my buttons better than even my own mom. I text my husband OMG. WTF? Sometimes I snap back at her. I am proud of myself when I am able to step away and either lock myself in her brother’s room til I can calm down or lock her in her room til I can calm down. I’m thinking of treating her hurtful rants like a reflexive verbal explosion. There was a boy in my high school with Tourette’s that would do that cursing thing through English class. Any thoughts?

I do think my husband may deal better. I did walk in on him fuming at her holding a pink pony saying, “Lulu. I am not a fashion designer for pony clothes!”

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