I devote at least one hour a week to finding and tracking sippy cups. It is a hopeless obsession. They always get lost. As a rule, the more expensive the sippy, the more quickly it is lost or damaged. The toxic, cheap sippies from the dollar bin at Target last forever. I use the f-word all the time ending in sippy. Like “Where is the f****n’ sippy?” I also hear myself saying, “Where is the g-ddamn sippy?” embarrassing. Yes. Humiliating. “MOMMY! MY SIPPY FELL!” I think I have dislocated my arm while making a left turn trying to retrieve a sippy that has launched under the front passenger seat of my mommy SUV only to hear a little voice saying, “I don’t want it.” I have trumped the sippy industry!

The best ones are by Playtex. They last longer. They don’t leak. Playtex should know. In fact, when I think of Playtex, I immediately think, “Oh yeah! Playtex! They make the best sippies.” Not, “Oh yeah. Playtex. I buy those when O.B.s are sold out.” Anyhoo. Playtex has replacement straws for sippy cups that they sell on their website only that extends the life of your already durable Playtex sippy cups. (playtexstore.com) Ha! A sippy cup that can rise from the dead! F**k you, sippy cup! Stay tuned for another parenting low…