Lockdown-Day 7. Lulu has been home recovering for 7 days from her tonsillectomy. She’s eating real foods. She’s mostly off her pain medication. She slept through most of the night for the first time ever. No snoring. No screaming.  Whoa. I’m supposed to observe if she has dragon breath. Check. It means she’s healing. White scabs in the back of her throat. Also a good sign. No bags under her eyes. Lulu complains of a tummy ache. The nurses say it’s the anesthesia left in her system. Lovely.

This may be a new day. A new dawn. I can’t tell if Lulu is still exhausted from surgery or if we have turned a corner. Dr. Pretty ENT assured me that Lulu’s quality sleep could potentially bring progress regarding her reflexive negativity, rigidity and tantrums. Let me get this straight. Sleep deprivation can cause malaise, tantrums and psychosis. If Lulu starts sleeping better, then hubby and I start sleeping better. I realized that the whole family has been suffering from sleep deprivation except for Axel.

Sleep deprivation. (Spoiler alert) from the Bourne Ultimatum

Dr. Albert Hirsch: You picked us. You volunteered. You said that you would do what it takes to save American lives. You’re not a liar, are you? Or too weak to see this through? This is it. Let go of David Webb. Will you give yourself to this program.
[Bourne, after a short pause, stands up and shoots a hooded man to death]
Dr. Albert Hirsch: You’re no longer David Webb. From now on you’ll be known as Jason Bourne. Welcome to the program.

The ritual of sleep deprivation for more than 2 weeks seals the deal that you are a parent. Let go of David Webb. I let go of my VW Beetle, my time-consuming gel nails, my dinners at AOC, peeing by myself. So parents, “Welcome to the program.”